There was a point in my life when every great idea I had ended up in the same place: nowhere. I’d feel a surge of excitement—whether it was about starting a blog, learning guitar, or finally getting serious about fitness—only to let that energy fizzle out within weeks. Sometimes, I didn’t even start. I’d find myself scrolling Instagram instead, watching strangers live the life I wanted.
Sound familiar?
For years, I labeled myself as someone who lacked discipline. But eventually, I realized it wasn’t just about willpower. It was about how I approached goals—and the sneaky ways I set myself up to fail.
Here’s what I learned about why we quit before we even start—and what it takes to break that cycle.
The Trap of All-or-Nothing Thinking
I used to believe that if I couldn’t do something perfectly, it wasn’t worth doing at all. When I decided to get fit, I’d write detailed workout plans, buy expensive protein powder, and tell myself I’d hit the gym six days a week. Predictably, this lasted about three days.
All-or-nothing thinking makes failure feel inevitable. The moment we slip up—whether we skip a workout or eat a donut instead of a salad—we tell ourselves the goal is ruined. Why even bother starting again?
What helped me escape this mindset was focusing on small, achievable actions. Instead of planning an extreme overhaul, I started with ten-minute home workouts. No equipment, no guilt if I missed a day. Turns out, consistency doesn’t have to look glamorous; it just has to be manageable.
Fear Disguised as Procrastination
For years, I convinced myself I wasn’t procrastinating; I was just waiting for the “right time.” I told myself I’d start writing when inspiration struck, or I’d launch my side hustle once I had more money saved. The truth? I was afraid of failing.
Fear often shows up in disguise. It looks like perfectionism, research binges, or a dozen excuses about why now isn’t the right time. But what I’ve learned is this: The “perfect moment” never comes. And the longer we wait, the harder it gets to take that first step.
When I finally stopped waiting for inspiration to hit, I gave myself permission to start messy. The first blog I wrote was awkward. My first attempt at guitar sounded like a cat fight. But starting messy is still starting—and that’s where momentum begins.
The Myth of Motivation
There’s a misconception that motivation is the fuel we need to achieve our goals. If we just watch the right TED Talk or hear an inspiring podcast, we’ll be ready to take on the world. But here’s the thing: Motivation is fickle. It’s great for getting started, but it won’t stick around when things get tough.
What kept me going when motivation faded was creating systems that made it easier to keep showing up. For example, when I wanted to run more, I started setting my running shoes by the door before bed. It sounds small, but it removed one obstacle in the morning. I didn’t have to think about where my shoes were or debate whether I’d go; I’d already made the choice.
It’s not about being constantly motivated—it’s about making the decision once and setting up your environment to follow through.
Celebrating Small Wins
One of the reasons I used to quit was that I only focused on the big finish line. If I couldn’t see immediate results, I’d lose interest. I wanted instant transformation, not slow progress.
But here’s what I’ve learned: Celebrating small wins keeps you in the game. When I started working out, I’d reward myself for showing up—even if it was just for a 15-minute stretch. When I began writing, I celebrated finishing one paragraph, not a full article.
These small victories add up, building confidence and reminding you why you started in the first place.
A Reminder for When You Feel Stuck
If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in the cycle of starting and quitting, you’re not alone. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy or incapable; it just means you’re human. Breaking that cycle isn’t about willpower or perfection—it’s about taking small, imperfect steps and learning to keep going even when things get hard.
So, whether you’ve got a guitar gathering dust in the corner or an idea that’s been sitting in the back of your mind, ask yourself: What’s the smallest action I can take today to get closer? It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be something.
The truth is, you don’t need to be perfect. You don’t even need to be ready. You just need to start.
