Two years ago, I stood in my kitchen staring at a half-empty journal filled with lofty plans. It was the kind of notebook that screams, “This time, I’ll get my life together.” And yet, here I was—again—feeling like I’d failed to follow through.
Starting over can feel like a badge of shame. Whether it’s a fitness routine, a creative project, or even a relationship, there’s an unspoken pressure to get it right the first time. If we don’t, it’s tempting to assume we’re not cut out for the goal in the first place.
But what if starting over isn’t the failure we think it is? What if it’s actually a quiet kind of resilience?
Here’s what I’ve discovered about the unexpected power of starting over—and why it’s worth embracing.
The Myth of the Perfect Beginning
We’re drawn to fresh starts for a reason. A blank slate feels full of possibility, like the first page of a new book. But we often place impossible expectations on these moments. “This time will be different,” we tell ourselves. “This time, I’ll stick with it.”
For years, I thought every restart had to be flawless. If I missed one day of progress or made a mistake, I’d write the whole thing off. I saw each attempt as a test of my worthiness: Could I prove to myself that I had what it took?
But life isn’t about perfect beginnings. It’s about imperfect attempts, messy progress, and the courage to try again. Every time we restart, we’re bringing something new to the table—lessons from the last try, a little more self-awareness, and maybe even a better plan.
Progress Isn’t Linear (and That’s a Good Thing)
When I was training for my first 5K, I assumed progress would look like a straight line. Week one: run a mile. Week two: two miles. By the end of the program, I’d effortlessly cross the finish line. Spoiler alert: That’s not what happened.
There were weeks I felt unstoppable, shaving minutes off my pace. Other times, I struggled to jog for even five minutes. I’d take a break, feel like I was losing ground, and question why I’d started in the first place.
But here’s the thing about progress: It’s not linear. It’s more like climbing a mountain with switchbacks. Sometimes you’re heading sideways—or even down—but that doesn’t mean you’re not moving forward. Those dips in progress? They’re part of the process, not proof of failure.
When I reframed my setbacks as part of the journey, I realized they weren’t stopping me; they were teaching me.
Why Starting Over Is a Sign of Growth
Have you ever noticed how kids don’t hesitate to start over? They’ll fall off a bike, scrape their knee, and hop back on without a second thought. Somewhere along the way, though, adults start seeing failure as something to avoid at all costs.
The reality is that starting over means you haven’t given up. It’s a sign you’re willing to learn, adapt, and try again—even when it’s hard.
After abandoning that journal in my kitchen, I started a new one a few months later. This time, I gave myself permission to revise my plans as I went. If a goal felt unrealistic, I’d scale it back. If I got bored, I’d pivot to something more exciting. That flexibility turned out to be my superpower. Instead of feeling trapped by my original plan, I felt free to evolve.
How to Use the Power of Starting Over Without Feeling Defeated
It’s easy to let the weight of past attempts hold us back. “Why should this time be any different?” we wonder. But the truth is, every restart is an opportunity to redefine success on your terms.
Here’s what helped me make peace with starting over:
- Focus on the first step, not the finish line. The goal might feel overwhelming, but what’s one small action you can take today? Just one.
- Be kinder to yourself. I used to think self-criticism was motivating. It’s not. Self-compassion is what helps you keep going when things get tough.
- Treat each attempt as an experiment. What worked last time? What didn’t? Every restart is a chance to tweak your approach and find what fits.
The Beauty of Reinvention
Starting over doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re evolving. Whether you’re picking up an old hobby, repairing a relationship, or tackling a new challenge, every attempt is part of your story.
If you’re standing at the edge of a restart right now, wondering if it’s worth it, let me remind you: There’s strength in showing up for yourself, even when it feels uncertain. You don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin.
Every time you start over, you’re not starting from scratch. You’re starting from experience.
