Goals and resolutions often carry an emotional weight that can lead to frustration or guilt if not achieved. They feel like destinations, rigid markers of success or failure. This binary approach can trap us in cycles of high motivation followed by a steep decline when life inevitably throws obstacles our way. That’s where creating rules can change the narrative.
Rules, unlike goals, set the tone for ongoing behavior rather than focusing on a specific outcome. They create a structure that’s easy to follow and helps shape daily choices. By setting rules, you’re defining the behaviors that align with who you want to be, instead of measuring yourself against external results.
The Problem with Conventional Goals and Resolutions
Goals like “lose weight,” “save more money,” or “read more books” sound motivating but often lack the guidance needed to sustain the behaviors that support them. If a goal is missed, the initial drive fades, leaving only the reminder of what didn’t work.
Resolutions can fall into a similar trap because they’re often tied to the hope of change rather than the actions that enable it. They rely on the power of will, which can waver. When the energy to push through wanes, those resolutions can quickly dissolve, reinforcing the sense of falling short.
Why Rules Offer a Better Approach
Rules are action-oriented and immediate. They focus on the “how” instead of the “what.” When structured thoughtfully, rules are less about pushing yourself to a distant end and more about creating an environment where success becomes the byproduct of consistent choices.
For instance, a rule like “move your body for 30 minutes daily” isn’t attached to a specific fitness outcome. It focuses on a manageable action that can be adapted depending on circumstances. Rules also have a psychological advantage—they’re less intimidating because they center on small, repeatable habits that feel within reach.
Setting Rules that Stick
When creating rules, it’s essential to be realistic about what fits into your current lifestyle. Instead of focusing on radical changes, think of rules as small boundaries that guide your decisions. Prioritize simplicity, specificity, and flexibility.
For example, a rule like “spend Sundays technology-free” creates a boundary that encourages rest and reflection without being prescriptive about what rest must look like. It’s less restrictive than a goal of “being more mindful” and more attainable because it’s anchored in a clear, actionable choice.
The best rules are ones that make your life easier. They remove decision fatigue by reducing the number of choices you need to make in the moment. For example, “never schedule more than two meetings per day” is a rule that preserves energy and focus, eliminating the need to evaluate every request that comes in.
Adjusting Rules as You Go
Rules are adaptable and can evolve as needed. If a rule starts feeling like a burden, it’s a signal to reassess. Maybe the rule needs a slight tweak, like changing “read one chapter daily” to “read for 10 minutes.” The essence of rules is flexibility—they guide without dictating.
A key to maintaining rules is to frame them as supportive rather than restrictive. If a rule feels punishing or impossible to uphold, it’s likely to be abandoned. Treat rules as experiments that can be refined over time to better fit your goals, routines, and preferences.
Shaping Your Identity with Rules
One of the most powerful aspects of rules is their potential to reinforce identity. Rules are less about what you achieve and more about who you are becoming. “Always speak up in meetings” is a rule that aligns with the identity of someone who values assertiveness and contribution. The focus shifts from performance to character.
With rules, success isn’t measured by whether you’ve checked a box. It’s about living in alignment with your values and priorities. Rules create the scaffolding for behaviors that reflect your desired self-image, making each decision an affirmation of who you want to be.
Embracing the Ease of Rules
As you move away from traditional goal-setting and resolutions, adopting rules can transform how you view self-improvement. They’re less about achieving a perfect version of yourself and more about choosing small actions that make your days a bit easier, your choices clearer, and your habits more intentional.
Whether it’s establishing a rule to prioritize your well-being or setting boundaries to protect your time, rules remove the pressure of chasing arbitrary milestones. They let you shape your day-to-day reality, aligning your actions with your values instead of external standards. This approach fosters progress without the harsh judgments that often accompany unmet goals.
By prioritizing rules, you’re making a shift toward lasting change that’s rooted in daily choices. In a world that often pushes the idea of constant improvement, choosing rules over resolutions gives you permission to evolve naturally, without the weight of unattainable expectations.
